You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
