Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
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