i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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