She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
