life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
