The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
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