I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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