They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
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