i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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