if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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