sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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