Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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