That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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