three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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