is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
