id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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