It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
