If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
