I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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