The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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