problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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