Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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