whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
