Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
