apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
