Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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