she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
She even gives head with a lisp.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
