I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
