and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
So many bounce houses so little time
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
