I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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