My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Randomize
