He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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