Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
