Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
