So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Are my feet made of real feet?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
