There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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