just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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