And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
