Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
