i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Bring me that man meat
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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