were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
