I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
