DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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