dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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