shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
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