okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
