Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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