I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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