my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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