i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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