Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
