Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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