I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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