Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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