just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
