Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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