fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
