Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
